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One woman sends me a message heavily laden with sexual innuendo and I come to regard her as the mistress of the single entendre. Another woman's first contact with me included a plan for a day out together, including visits to art galleries, a stroll round a park and then "a few hours under the duvet". I'm later propositioned by someone who tells me she has an hourglass figure.
Her photograph reveals that the hour has stretched to 90 minutes.
"My preference is for a man who is much younger than me with rugged features," says one. This is a way of paying someone a compliment without typing out the words. And over the course of a week I get almost 100 replies, messages and propositions.
Postings such as: "I want a man who can look after me and knows how to treat a woman. I'm surprised and unsettled by the forward tone of some of the material. Determined to avoid the connotations, I reply: "The Beatles." I never hear from her again.
I wonder if anyone has ever read this, seen the wisdom of it and decided not to join. "I'm witty, charming, handsome and modest, and I'm kind to animals," I write, hoping this description will have a fairly broad appeal, and also include a recent photograph.
Your picture can be viewed only if you give a password to the person with whom you are conversing.
Many dating sites offer chat rooms for members to meet and get to know each other. Some of these sites require a fee before access is granted to the chat rooms.
In order to fit in with the general ethos of the website I have invented a wife.They are allowed to sign up for free as a way of ensuring the numbers are balanced between the sexes.I register, and enter the murky world of two-timing technology, taking note of the warning on the site: "Not all affairs have a positive effect on a marriage." What a masterpiece of understatement.We have encountered one another via an internet dating service established for the sole purpose of enabling married people to commit adultery.It may sound like an unpleasant niche website for a handful of amoral people to whom wedding vows never meant very much.